


Some People? Write Poetry? To Cope????

by MyEmilyDickinsonHat (purty64)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/M, Gen, Poetry, aspec Martin week, cause it's different for each poem you see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23760343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purty64/pseuds/MyEmilyDickinsonHat
Summary: a collection of poems I wrote for the Aspec Martin Blackwood Week! one for each day and Itriedto get at least two prompts in for each poem (sometimes I managed all three!)all seven poems are (ostensibly) set in the same... timeline? but are not necessarily in chronological order. feel free to read them in whatever order you think they go! all poems written from Martin POV
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14
Collections: Aspec Martin Blackwood Week





	1. April Nineteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day one! prompts here were Discovery, Poetry, and Rainstorm, and I was able (clearly) to work in rainstorm and _arguably_ able to work in poetry >:3c  
> no warnings for this one! just yearning

today you come in dripping wet  
and I can finally see all the angles that cut me  
they're lovely  
you hate me  
so it seems  
~~_I'm not so stupid as you think_~~  
I could let it go  
look away  
ignore the way your sweater  
clings  
to your cold and clammy skin  
I could forget  
what it was like to laugh with you  
what a _thank you_ sounds like from your lips  
I could do it  
but it aches so beautifully  
the memory  
of a smile on your lips _~~because of me~~_  
the brush of your fingers  
your sleep mussed hair  
_(when you fall asleep at your desk_  
_is when you look the most at peace)_  
_~~some nights I lie awake and wish~~_  
_~~I could make you feel that peaceful~~_  
_~~when you were awake~~_  
I like the way it hurts  
so I'll let you cut me  
and bring you tea  
and dream


	2. April Twentieth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day two! prompts for this one were Common Experiences and Tea (Travel was also one of them but I couldn't work it in).  
> warnings for minor internalized arophobia, and mentions of.... mental health? saying "I'm broken" and things like that, nothing major

some days I doubt myself  
am convinced that this is simply a  
side effect  
of everything else  
_~~"you're a people pleaser"~~_  
_~~they tell me~~_  
_~~and I nod~~_  
_~~smile~~_  
_~~and offer a cup of tea~~_  
if the fact that I don't  
love  
like everyone else  
is just another thing that's broken about me

but.  
you don't either  
and I love you  
_~~so far as I can tell~~_  
_~~you don't love at all~~_  
_~~and you're not broken~~_  
_~~not like me~~_

and I may not be able to kiss you  
_~~it's not like you'd want me to~~_  
nor can I hold you  
or whisper the things I want you to hear  
but I can boil water  
let it steep  
add three sugars and a splash of milk  
_~~just how you like it~~_  
_~~I know because that's the one you'd always finish~~_  
and place it carefully on the edge of your desk  
like an indirect kiss  
but I'm warming your hands

so I'll make tea


	3. April Twenty First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompts on day three were Frustrations, Family, and Seasons 1-2, and I used Frustrations and Familyyyyy  
> warnings for implied abuse, I guess? it references Martin's mother, not in so many words but it's clearly her

oh I do not speak to her anymore  
and for that I am glad  
~~though some days I regret it~~  
~~I have been made to forget~~  
~~why I stuck around for someone who hated me~~  
I never told her  
~~_but I think she suspected_~~  
imagine if she could see me now  
at the end of the world with the  
~~_man_~~  
I love  
we touch  
I don't think it'd offend her  
~~_not unless she knew, oh_~~  
~~_sometimes I laugh to think_~~  
~~_what she would say if she could see me now_~~  
~~_she would be miserable_~~  
~~_and I can finally smile_~~


	4. April Twenty Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on day four I only got One of the prompts, First, with the other two being Sunrise/Sunset and AU, which I 1) didn't vibe with and 2) already said that all these take place in the same timeline, which is in _theory_ canon, so I didn't know what to do with that  
> only possibly warnings might be- you know that horrible feeling when you accidentally cross one of your own boundaries, that you didn't know you had, and now don't know how to go back and say "yea, so it turns out that's a boundary I can't cross and I _know_ you liked Thing, but I can Never Do It Again"? that.

I kissed you today  
which is important  
but not, I think  
the important bit

I kissed you today  
because I  
~~thought I~~  
~~_hoped_ I~~  
wanted to

I kissed you today  
and I think you liked it  
but  
the important bit  
~~_is that I didn't_~~

~~_you've said before that you_ ~~  
~~_wouldn't_ ~~  
~~_right?_ ~~  
~~_would you mind_ ~~  
~~_not_ ~~  
~~_doing this either?_ ~~

I kissed you today  
~~_I'm sorry_~~  
~~_I don't think I could do it again_~~


	5. April Twenty Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day five, and it's three for three! Touch, Flowers _and_ Childhood! wahoo, am I getting better or was this just a good day?  
> minor mention of childhood and, being scared? it's only one or two lines and goes into no depth at all, but it's there so it should be warned for

I remember growing up  
as I run my hands through your hair  
_I've always had a poets heart_  
I remember  
trying _desperately_ to stay out of the way  
to _avoid_  
I remember sitting in the garden  
watching flowers bloom  
dreaming of red roses and forget me nots

I remember  
growing up  
pouring over books  
~~_alone_~~  
~~_in the library_~~  
~~_did you pour over books alone_~~  
~~_I wonder?_~~  
~~_and smile against your neck_~~  
reading old and crumbling books  
on flowers  
and letters  
and love

_nowadays I dream of yellow roses_  
_and bachelor's button_  
_and the little white flowers in the fields_  
_that we'll weave_  
_into crowns that lace our heads_  
_and leave on the kitchen counter_  
_to wither in the sun_


	6. April Twenty Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day. five? yes. and it's another three fer! mwahahahahahaha, I am too powerful.  
> no warnings here I think!

you sip your coffee  
and I watch  
as the sunlight streams through the stained glass window  
of the coffee shop  
down the street  
~~_you asked me to come with you_~~  
~~_did you know what that meant?_~~  
~~_did I?_~~

you rant about the latest statement  
~~_aren't they terrible?_~~  
and I listen  
your hands dance  
and your voice  
increases in tempo and volume  
in a way I see no where else  
~~_I wish_~~  
~~_I could see you this passionate about anything_~~  
~~_all the time_~~

~~_I wish I knew what you meant_ ~~  
~~_when you asked me to get a coffee with you_ ~~  
~~_I wish I knew what I meant_ ~~  
~~_when I said yes_ ~~

_(I want to reach out over the table_  
_clasp your hand and say_  
_I love you_  
_but I can't tell if that's because it's true_  
_or if I just want it to be)_

you sit across from me  
in the coffee shop down the street  
and I wish  
I was sitting  
across from you


End file.
